Michele's Manic Mania

  Today 10/19/24 ~Frustrating to say the least ~Pointless ~Wasted ~Bored----Scared of getting trapped in my thoughts Feeling unappreciated…..IT IS ALREADY STARTING….. =Not enough. .......Never enough.......Why Thoughts have over taken....what if's, whys.... Tomorrow⇎ 10/20/24 Should have known....... Same feeling every time. I will never be "enough"  Or  Do "enough" I understand that and accept it.  However the heart break never goes away. Instantly walking on egg shells.   Mood changed as quickly as the snap of my fingers.  I am  Constantly wondering what I did wrong even when your not mad. My head may explode......or possibly melt. This is not what I planned, or even closely  envisioned.  This is what I have though.  There has been a lot of highs and a lot of lows, and a million and one thing to do differently, I still would not change a single thing. Every week you find a reason to pick a fight.   I kee...

10/07/24 Can anyone tell me what the meaning of life is?.... Yea the real meaning......am almost forty and still don't know nor do I think I will ever know. I have gone through over half my life being bullied., and continually getting stomped on. I I feel so small, I constantly walk on eggshells. When was the last time you heard a true emotion come out of me? You haven't in years, you won't any more. I changed for you once and you wouldn't compromise in the slightest.and I lost all sense of who I was for your mistake. I am continually apologizing for mistakes/decisions lately; I have been for a while. You, yes you have officially broken me from the inside out.   8/19 Here I am looking at the~my reflection in the mirror. Hesitant, scared woman almost 40 that I do not recognize.   My how I have aged, look tarnished, beaten down..... All self inflicted, man wtf...... Looking @ my lil life, my kids, boyfriend....I'm not as ready to leave this earth as I thought I was, n...